Thursday, April 27, 2006

Advice for Ladies.

Well I'm back home now after attending the UKOUG Server Tech Day in Manchester.

The day was a resounding success with some excellent presentations and once again I got to meet up with some great people.

I've got some notes that I'll use to put together a proper post in the morning, but as it's currently late, and I'm tired, I'll just point you in the direction of Doug's blog , and share my advice.

1) When selecting an establishment in which to eat, make sure you incorporate the needs of the 5 year old who wants to eat fish fingers and watch football.

2) When out having a few bevvies with a group of people that include a tough Scotsman, never assume he will be able to keep pace with everybody else, nor should you assume that just because he is from Scotland that he doesn't feel the cold.

3) If in the company of a serial blogger, be very careful about what you say and how you act. It may just come back to haunt you.

4) ALWAYS make a point of never forgetting if a man offers to model fine ladies lingerie for you. More importantly, make a point of making sure that you don't allow him to forget it either.

12 Comments:

Blogger Niall said...

you forgot the most important of all.

when introducing someone to a new audience, especially if they've only ever spoken a couple of times, make sure to use the phrase

"if he can do it anyone can". it'll put them right at ease

Friday, April 28, 2006 10:39:00 am  
Blogger Lisa said...

Aw come on Niall, I can't believe anyone would be *that* silly.

Friday, April 28, 2006 10:54:00 am  
Blogger Doug Burns said...

"1) When selecting an establishment in which to eat, make sure you incorporate the needs of the 5 year old who wants to eat fish fingers and watch football."

And the 6 year old who goes straight for the lemon chicken because that might make you look exotic. Not.

And what happened to my football? Humph!

"2) When out having a few bevvies with a group of people that include a tough Scotsman, never assume he will be able to keep pace with everybody else"

Which goes to prove that any rumours that I might 'like a drink' are pretty far off the mark. It also means I'm perfectly accurate and within my rights to refer to my companions as 'alcoholic geeks'.

"nor should you assume that just because he is from Scotland that he doesn't feel the cold."

... when only wearing a T-shirt to walk round a city at night. They might do that sort of thing in Newcastle, but they're all barking mad. That's a fact, by the way.

"3) If in the company of a serial blogger, be very careful about what you say and how you act. It may just come back to haunt you."

See, now that's just not fair! (and completely ruins all my future blog material)

"4) ALWAYS make a point of never forgetting if a man offers to model fine ladies lingerie for you. More importantly, make a point of making sure that you don't allow him to forget it either."

Well, if you go out with ladies who appear to take more interest in looking at lingerie shop windows than beer and food, what's a gentleman to do?!?

Then again what kind of 'lady' would reduce the audience to tears of laughter at the expense of a poor newbie presenter?

Friday, April 28, 2006 10:55:00 am  
Blogger Lisa said...

And what happened to my football? Humph!

Considering you turned up late in the bar as you had fallen asleep watching snooker, we decided not to run the risk of having you snoring in the pub.

It also means I'm perfectly accurate and within my rights to refer to my companions as 'alcoholic geeks'.

I'll accept the alcoholic bit, I am a Geordie after all.
The term 'Geek' can only accurately be used to describe one of the companions out that night, and he knows who he is!

They might do that sort of thing in Newcastle, but they're all barking mad. That's a fact, by the way.

He's right on that one.

what kind of 'lady' would reduce the audience to tears of laughter at the expense of a poor newbie presenter?

Is it my fault that the entire audience misinterpreted what I said????

Friday, April 28, 2006 11:03:00 am  
Blogger Doug Burns said...

Is it my fault that the entire audience misinterpreted what I said????

Strange that, isn't it?

Friday, April 28, 2006 11:21:00 am  
Blogger Neil jarvis said...

"if he can do it anyone can". - Nice one!!!

Wish I'd been there.

1) When selecting an eating place. Make sure it's in easy walking distant of hotel. prefereably not at the far end of Chinatown

Friday, April 28, 2006 11:54:00 am  
Anonymous Mark Backhouse said...

"if he can do it anyone can" was a classic it has to be said. Surely blaming the hang over is an easy get out for that little slip up?

Friday, April 28, 2006 12:23:00 pm  
Blogger Lisa said...

Oh Lord - a witness!!!!

I think it'll be a long time before I live that one down.

At least it may stop people talking about water spillages and sippy cups!

Friday, April 28, 2006 12:27:00 pm  
Blogger shrek said...

At least it may stop people talking about water spillages and sippy cups!

you wish.;-)

Friday, April 28, 2006 1:05:00 pm  
Blogger Daniel Fink said...

We will never forget the incidents surrounding the 'sippy cup' events. And now we have additional incidents to use against you...

Friday, April 28, 2006 1:53:00 pm  
Anonymous Mark Backhouse said...

ah look on the bright side - it could have been much worse. I have heard a female friend of mine say something like "I'll give him one" or something along those lines. She still hasn't lived that down!

Besides, imagine if everyone had internet access and started discussing it on their blogs and taunting you about it. oh errrr d'oh

Friday, April 28, 2006 1:57:00 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

don't bet on living down the sippy cup... it's been over 6 years and I haven't lived down "suspenders" yet

Saturday, April 29, 2006 12:15:00 am  

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